Death is something you can’t wish even to your worst enemy. It hits harder when it’s someone you love. trying to mask it or going on a speed dating Houston or any dating site won’t help.There are no tips and advice in the world that can take away that pain, trust me I know. I remember the time I got the news that my boyfriend had passed away in a car accident, it was sometime last year in June 2018.
At first, I was in denial and even tried to call his phone to hear his voice one last time. I couldn’t believe the last conversation was us fighting about minor things as usual. I was overwhelmed!
The worst part of the whole experience is the person who called to give me the news, how I wish she was more careful with her words. Well, she was not and her words made the situation messy. A lot of things were going through my head and I never thought I would recover from the shock. It’s almost a year and I’m still grieving his absence.
If you have experienced something as tragic, know that however painful it feels right now, it shall pass. Here are a few things I learned throughout the whole process.
Allow yourself to mourn
Bottling up emotions will only make things worse. When you postpone mourning it will find a way to come out and it will not be pretty. Allow the tears to flow, feel the pain. You don’t have to be ashamed to show your vulnerable side. Going through this emotional process will help you heal faster.
Talk to someone only when you are ready
At first, it would be hard to express yourself without crying. Plus I understand you don’t want people to feel sorry for you. So take your time until whenever you are ready to talk about it. Let your friends and close family be there for you. Please don’t shut them out. They know you better and you’ll be glad they are there in those trying times.
Realize people grieve differently
This is the time you will get all kinds of advice and tips from everyone and anyone. You don’t have to follow any of those. We all process things differently plus you are the one who knows how much it hurts. Do you. Do things that will cheer you up and grieve in your own pace. Don’t try to forget, give yourself time, however long you need. Myself, I’m still grieving but life has to go on, right?
Cherish the memories
Try to remember him/ her fondly. The only thing that kept me going was remembering all the fun moments, his laughter, and his insights about life and celebrated his life. You should realize that even though they are no longer with us, their legacy remains for as long as we still exist.
No one is asking you to forget about them but life has to go on. Embrace the fact that you are still here and your life doesn’t stop with them. Participate in things that you love and allow yourself a chance to heal.
Death snatches those we care for and that’s cruel. Many are times we don’t even get the chance to say goodbye, let alone to let them know how much we care for them. Regardless, we can hold on to the memories and be grateful they touched our lives even if it was for such a short period. Stay strong, brighter days are coming!